Good Riddance/The Time of Your Life

I'm having a lot of mixed emotions.
I want to do well in my finals, but then I'm sick of them. I don't want to study anymore.
Then I just want to hang out with everyone before we have to leave each other.
Then I realize I can hang out with them by studying with them.
Oh well.

I don't want to pack because that means I'm leaving soon.
And I don't want to pack because I don't want to pack.

***
There's something I don't like about having to take a final that's 14 pages thick and pretty difficult. It's worse when you just said goodbye to the first people who left the floor- the baseball guys. 1st North Swag is coming to an end. Hail, hail,  the gang's not here.

But really?! I finished that stupid test and didn't even feel like it was summer. I should feel accomplished (and will after I go to sleep before 1 am in the first time in forever), but it's bittersweet 'cause I know we'll never be freshman together again.
Stop living in the past, I guess.

***
I packed up sooner than I had thought I would. But I still had a lot of junk.
I took down my Rocktober poster again. Weird.

Maple was half-empty (or half-full) when I left. I said goodbye to the remaining people and walked out.
Probably not for the last time. But I turned in my keys and made it official that I wouldn't be living there again (as far as I can see). The days of us freshies living our lives in the dorms were certainly over.
I snapped some pix as I said goodbye to Maple Hall. It was good to me. I was happy there.

***
So we're driving up with our truck filled with stuff when I kinda realize it's summer. And that is a good thing. I realize I don't have homework, but I don't think it's set in yet. And in a week I'll be going crazy from lack of it. It's good to be done though. I feel accomplished, and so should you. We need to get away. We need to catch up on sleep (I'm looking at you, although I am very guilty). See and talk to 'normal' people. We can't stay freshman forever. So we rid ourselves, but it's a good riddance.

It's crazy how quickly nine months has passed yet how much has happened in that nine months. We've grown to wide-eyed freshman to somewhat-prepared-for-what's-next sophomores. That person who didn't think they were going to pass Calculus? Passed. Shy to approach anyone about anything? Outgoing. Didn't think anyone understood them? Not anymore. We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into, and through all the sweat, tears, lost sleep, energy drinks and eraser remnants yet smiles, nerdy inside jokes, green boxes, energy drinks, passed tests and late nights we've somehow found ourselves having the time of our lives.

Yeah, it was hard. If I could tell incoming freshman me how hard it was, it might have scared me more. But of course it was doable. Just add in a few 4am nights. And for what it's worth, it was worth all the while.

So yeah, it was a great year. But I know it doesn't stop here. There's more things to learn. I know next year will change me more, as these past nine months have. And I'll fight through it. With Nerf guns and 'mallows. And stuff.

'Cause I'm a ramblin' wreck from Golden Tech, a helluva engineer.

A Mile High, Miles Low, Fifty Billion Miles to Go

(I don't know, I just felt like adding this picture. Taken April 30 on a floor trip to the game.) 

Here, I am, mere days from completing my freshman year at Mines.

I'm in the midst of trying to ace the physics final. Long story. But yeah.
I should've started a week ago, except stupid homework got in the way. I don't even know if it's possible. But I'm sayin'....there's a chance.

So it's Dead Day.
Classes are done, everything's coming to an end.
I ran a mile in PA and didn't die, my NHV prof got us donuts, and everyone else gave us their speech of how great of a class we were. I made copies for the Athletics office for possibly the last time. Besides finals, I'm pretty much done being a freshman.

There's not enough time to try to get A's in my classes, and there's not enough time to end freshman year on a high note with my friends.
It's all coming to an end.

It's so weird.
We feel happy. But sad at the same time. A mile high, miles low. And then people complain about how stressed they are.

It's so weird.
Seniors are graduating.
We're getting older. But are reminded we have so much to go.
But it's coming quickly at the same time.

I'm so tired.
I'm sick of studying. Of staying up until three.
But I know I'll miss it- the late night digger den trips, the stories in between studying at three. The screw everything moments. The green box moments.
That's about it.
(I'm kidding.)

I'm so gonna die. So help us all this weekend.

Stuff for dead week. Brady's knee is seen in the background.

A Semester-Long Battle With Physics

It began with the chirp of a droid....

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Then there was homework...

MissleDefense.Problem

GREEN BOXES YAY!

And studio....

"OM NOM NOM NOM NOM"

And studying...

And the Kinematics Exam...I was stoked.

(I was actually nervous inside.)

My grade before the exam.

Then Lon-Capa's all:

And I'm like:

Then we started torque...

Awesome TA's are awesome.

And I started getting less and less sleep.

People needed help with homework on Sunday night...

and I fought on until the Torque Test.

And then we saw it. And were like:

My life is a failure and surely I got an F or G!

People were mad...

Yeah, we mad, bro.

Then I got the test back and Lon-Capa said

"How'd the test go?"

Then I was all 

Heck, yeah. I got this stuff.

I studied hard. Sometimes I needed help.

I knew I could do really well and get an A if I tried (and didn't sleep). So I woke up early the day of the test and went to 8a.m. studio.

"If you don't define a system or axes or write equations in their general forms,
you're gonna have a bad time."

I was wrong.

You know, sometimes it's better to be lucky than good. 

And I had the worst luck for the Energy Test (stupid conceptual questions).

But upon further review, I shouldn't have had to rely on luck that much in the first place.

There were a few questions I had to make last second choices on. 

And when I woke up, I realized

It would now take a miracle to pull an A in physics.

I became angry and emotional.

Well, more angry and emotional than usual.

I got sad texts and awesome news from others. But I was stuck in the middle: the average, or right above it.

All week I went back and forth between wanting to try to ace the final so someone can make an inspirational movie about me or giving up and screwing physics and forgetting all the people that might want to study with me but focusing on other classes. I'm pretty sure I did a million calculations.

I still don't know what to do. 

But I'm proud. 

For: "I have fought the good fight, I have (nearly) finished the course, I have kept the faith." ~ II Timothy 4:7

And I only need a 35 on the final to keep my lovely B. 

Hanging Tight

Last semester about this time (a little earlier actually), I was writing about how we're really a bunch of kids here at college, even more immature than we were during high school. Again, it's awesome. I look out the window and humans are fending off a zombie. And then I shake my head and do homework.

It's like Mines has told us: hey, welcome. Thanks for choosing a program that will give you security in the real world. Now here's four-five incredibly stressful years before you have to be an adult, so run with them and have fun! (But not too much fun- you have an exam next Tuesday). You can do, eat, dress, and act however you want. And it's been great so far.

But I failed to give us credit. Either that or us freshman have grown so much in nine months. (Nine months- wow!) Either way, we're at the part of the semester- no, year- where we have to buckle down and hang fast. And it's hard, but we're doing it.

This past week was registration for Sophomore year. It's so weird to think of Sophomore year, but I'm excited for my new classes and to meet the new Freshies. But you know, I'm just putting my sched together, meeting with my adviser, running back and forth getting things taken care of. Later this month I'll sign a lease for a house. Dang, I'm getting old. But I still need to do laundry.

But you know, I'm proud of us and how far we've come. All week I've been hearing about everyone's plans for next semester and life. We're starting to break apart into our individual majors, and it's sad but cool at the same time. For example, I'm so glad I don't have to take Thermo or Statics or any other real engineering classes. But it'll be weird not living together and comparing bad test nights because we share every class with everybody. Well not really. But still.

But look at us, thinking about our degrees and classes and stuff!

All we have to do is not break down or burn out with the rest of the semester....sigh. Go 2015, go!

If You Ain't Dreaming About It

The mind plays tricks on us.

Like making 190 plus days of torturous winter pass by really quickly. Dang, it's April already, and as happy as I am that it is...dang.

There was a moment during E-days (and I'm not exactly sure when) that I became done with school. It's not that hard. It's not. But I'm done with the constant deadlines and 3 a.m. nights. Annoying people are getting on my nerves more than usual. I hate being behind homework all the time, and babysitting for the one subject that I like to get ahead. I used to love it all. What's different? Maybe it's just the last couple weeks. But it's not just me. My friends are so done with school too.

After E-days, I was left with all my homework due during the week. So I did everything the night before it was due. My mind escalated everything. But I know my limits. I knew it'd be impossible to get all my math homework done in one night. So I didn't, because I couldn't, but tried my best. My body rebelled.

My mind also thought for some reason (maybe the fever had already set in) that I had to write the draft for my final NHV paper in one night. Panic set in, and the sickness already had. By the time I was set straight- that it was due in one week- autodestruct already took place. And I had made myself sick. I was so hot and so cold at the same time and I finally gave in and slept. I called in sick to everything Wednesday and Thursday.

I had some trippy dreams while feverish, but I can't remember all of them. I remember one of them had to do with Dubstep, which is trippy itself. Our window was open, and I think I could hear my friends outside my window talking, but I don't think they were really there. I also thought someone was calling for their dog: "Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan!". How cool, they named their dog Obi-Wan, I thought. Not totally unlikely at this school, but...yeah. Pretty sure I was hallucinating.

My cough wasn't like a normal cough- it felt like there was something in my chest. Like my cold heart had frozen over, so cold that only baseball could save it. Friday, baseball came. Opening Day was different than the others. It felt different. Of course it was good, but for some reason I was tired Thursday night and went to sleep- like I wasn't excited or something. I made up for it by getting up at 8 a.m. for my 11 a.m. class. And then it was a normal day, except at 5 p.m. I went up to 2nd floor and locked myself in and watched the game. Baseball season started. And I was still sick.

Don't get me wrong again: I'm glad it's Day Two of baseball season. I'm glad for the time I've had at school this semester and last. And I do think I'll manage to concentrate on both. But I guess I'm taking it one day at a time, and that's not working anymore. I need to look forward to the great stuff that'll happen. And dream about that stuff, because if I ain't dreaming about it, I ain't ready.

But then again, it's gonna go by so quick. I don't know what to think anymore.