Wednesday, January 23, 2013

I'm Already Dying...

I suppose I should offer an explanation on why I haven't written this semester yet, even though it is the third week of school. But I don't want to, so there.

Honestly, I guess I'm okay. Maybe.

Maybe not. But probably.

I can feel how terrible and horrendous of a decision 18.5 credits consisting of 6 classes will be. I knew it'd be awful, but if it's like this with just homework going on and not even exams....

God help me.

The mornings are okay. I hate getting up to see the sun rise, so I wake up 20 minutes after. My first two classes are interesting, but I'm just so tired because of the earliness and the fact that it's two straight hours of programming (Java and Matlab). Then Linear Algebra happens and sometimes I don't even know what we're talking about. But it wakes me up. My other classes are great and interesting as well. I love learning.

But then after classes and the meetings and places I need to be due to extracurricular stuff or just meeting with people, the homework comes. And as much as I've attempted to not procrastinate, homework continues to prove its infiniteness and complexity.

Okay, maybe it's not that bad. I totally like school. Imagine if I was doing nothing right now, wouldn't I want to go back to school? But I forget the emotional terror after each semester. A coping mechanism, I guess.

It was a rough first half of the week, I guess. It's not over, our first EPICS project is due Friday. I've been in the process of applying to REUs (research experience for undergraduates), so that's on my plate as well. I had to finish a couple personal statements last night, and that took me 'til 4a.m. No big deal, I've stayed up later than that. But never with 8a.m. class the next day. Due to insomnia and other terrible factors and caffeine, I couldn't fall asleep til like 5. So I got like 2.5 hours of sleep.

I feel like I'm gonna die now, although I really want to work on Java (it's a fun class). I just feel weird. Yeah, I'm gonna go to bed before I start twitching.