Correlation

Some unrelated Java code...

I enter Green Center at 9am for Geophysics EPICS, our project-based data analysis class. It's a fun class, probably my favorite. We're on our second to last project. The stress of the week has weighed on me. I'm feeling the tension of stuff not getting done.

But yet, the time in the Linux Lab flies. Time flies when you're having fun. Using MATLAB, I throw some plots together. It's a soothing process, once you get past the craziness of the impending deadline of Friday.

After three more hours of class, lunch with SWE, I head back up to the lab. Finally, at 2pm, I exit the lab to go to my other classes. It's a beautiful day, dang it. I wish I could be outside chilling, or having a catch. Not spending it inside the dark abyss of Green Center.

After classes are over, I head back to the Green Center. Anxious and unfocused, I decide to buy a grape Nos energy drink. I focus and make more plots, trying to find a correlation between weather patterns and avalanche occurrences.

It's enjoyable. I can imagine working a job like this. In fact, I'm excited for the research internship at CSU I accepted: my project apparently will be "mapping the global persistence of tropospheric winds and the impact of these winds on large scale climate/circulation patterns". Kind of similar to the stuff we're doing in EPICS. It seems cool.

I like the exploration of data, trying to find patterns. At the beginning of the class, I had no idea what I was doing and made plots pretending I knew. As it goes on, I still don't know what I'm doing, but I know how to pretend better and use the tools better. It's like life. You really have no idea what you're doing, just winging it as you go along, learning more and more stuff.

Yep, it is like life. Sometimes it feels like a mess.

Sometimes things go wrong.

{badness 10000}
It's over 9000.

"MATLAB is exiting because of fatal error."
"killed" 
bahahaha

And at the end of the day, all we can do is leave a report, or lab log of what we've done.

Today I Don't Feel Like Doing Anything

Last week killed me.

I'm dead. A goner. Dead meat. A floating fish. But not really.

I'm not surprised that I've started to get sick, honestly. I heard that getting less than 5 hours of sleep is bad for you. I haven't really been eating well. Or exercising or doing anything healthy or good at all. I had three tests within 18 hours, and that was after our third EPICS project was due (Wednesday).

I guess my whole goal this semester has been to simply survive, so I really don't care how terrible I did on those exams (that DiffEq test....ouch).

The great thing about 4 of my 6 classes having tests/projects last week was the fact that this weekend, President's Day weekend, I could be a lazy bum and not feel bad about it. I despise laziness, but I think in this case I get a free ride.

I hung out with old friends, went to a coffee shop by myself, covered the Mines baseball and softball series, watched movies, attempted to save incoming freshman's souls from choosing Physics or ChemE as a major, took naps and took naps.

The best thing is that I don't have classes on Tuesday, meaning: Four day weekend! But in reality, my laziness must cease for the next three weeks (until Spring Break), so I must get started on my Linear Algebra worksheet.

Ain't Nobody Got Time for That!

It was the second week where I have stayed up waaaaay too late on a Sunday night in order to (partially) complete the assignments due the next day. The combination of Java programs, EPICS projects, Static Fields readings and homework, DiffEq worksheet, DiffEq book problems, Oredigger editing and writing, and remembering to live has made me a very busy, crazy, and sometimes overwhelmed person. As a result, I've gotten 3 hours of sleep Sunday nights. It's not that I've been slacking during the week, rather I had worked on the EPICS project, filled out research internship applications, did homework due other days  (Linear Algebra worksheet and reading quiz Wednesday, Static Fields...). You get the picture. There's no time for anything.

• Laundry
• Exercise 
• Eating
• Sleeping
• Having fun
• Reading the book in order to do the homework
• Actually doing the homework
• Paying attention in class (some classes I use to get homework done in due in a couple hours...it's bad).
• Seeing friends
• Talking to friends
• Hanging out with friends
• Breathing
• Personal hygiene (somewhat kidding)
• Blogging

Sorry.

I do try on some of them. I do try. 

I'm Already Dying...

I suppose I should offer an explanation on why I haven't written this semester yet, even though it is the third week of school. But I don't want to, so there.

Honestly, I guess I'm okay. Maybe.

Maybe not. But probably.

I can feel how terrible and horrendous of a decision 18.5 credits consisting of 6 classes will be. I knew it'd be awful, but if it's like this with just homework going on and not even exams....

God help me.

The mornings are okay. I hate getting up to see the sun rise, so I wake up 20 minutes after. My first two classes are interesting, but I'm just so tired because of the earliness and the fact that it's two straight hours of programming (Java and Matlab). Then Linear Algebra happens and sometimes I don't even know what we're talking about. But it wakes me up. My other classes are great and interesting as well. I love learning.

But then after classes and the meetings and places I need to be due to extracurricular stuff or just meeting with people, the homework comes. And as much as I've attempted to not procrastinate, homework continues to prove its infiniteness and complexity.

Okay, maybe it's not that bad. I totally like school. Imagine if I was doing nothing right now, wouldn't I want to go back to school? But I forget the emotional terror after each semester. A coping mechanism, I guess.

It was a rough first half of the week, I guess. It's not over, our first EPICS project is due Friday. I've been in the process of applying to REUs (research experience for undergraduates), so that's on my plate as well. I had to finish a couple personal statements last night, and that took me 'til 4a.m. No big deal, I've stayed up later than that. But never with 8a.m. class the next day. Due to insomnia and other terrible factors and caffeine, I couldn't fall asleep til like 5. So I got like 2.5 hours of sleep.

I feel like I'm gonna die now, although I really want to work on Java (it's a fun class). I just feel weird. Yeah, I'm gonna go to bed before I start twitching.

Four Final Days

This couldn't end well. The first question was bizarre: "There are M amount of positive charges in the universe and N amount of negative charges, and both have a magnitude of e. If two charges of magnitude e appear, what is the total charge in the universe?" I could not give an electric flux about the charges in the universe, I just wanted to do well on the last Physics exam I'd ever take. Questions baffled me. I didn't have my minty gum, rather I freaked out in the morning when I couldn't find it, then ran to the book store and bought some fruity gum. Bad decision. The Red Bull and Honey Bunches of Oats breakfast combo was fine, my focus was alright, but they didn't help on the weird problems. I wish I had more time to study the day (and week) before.

***

I barely woke up Tuesday morning. It was 7 a.m., and I'd gotten 4 hours of sleep. I thought about calculating my grade if I slept in and got a 0 on the Economics final. It wasn't good, so I reluctantly rolled out of bed, chugged some yogurt, ate the rest of my Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and cracked open a Red Bull as I meandered to Brown Building to take the test. The TAs were ten minutes late. I was tired, and  not amused. So tired, I don't remember much of that test. I was pretty out of it. I went back home and took a nap.

Tuesday evening: the last night of studying for exams for me. "All I need is a 76," Shane kept saying. After about the 5th time everybody wanted him to shut up. I tried to learn optics in one night, and was pretty successful as I went over homework while I ate the pizza we ordered. Eventually Lon-Capa went down, so we had to find creative ways to study for physics. I should have looked over the past homework, for "Hairpin Curve" would be on the final. But my professor had told me that a good night's sleep and good attitude was going to help me on the final, so I opted to get 7 hours of sleep. Brandon took me home at one.

***
My geology professor was probably printing out our finals, as he was late. "If you take the full two hours to complete this, there's something wrong!" he had said, so it was okay I guess. I sipped my Starbucks; the weather was cold and windy outside this Monday morning. He finally showed up, and we didn't take a whole lot of time to finish. "Extra credit: draw your favorite dinosaur!" I laughed.

Panino's and more Starbucks with Rima kept me going for lunch. It was great to relax with a friend even though my worst finals hadn't taken place yet. When I got back, my family dropped my off a huge care package of food.

I tried to learn Econ as I Skyped my friend at the Starbucks in Brown later. I was a hopeless case in this subject, but it did help. Brady texted me that his Calc final grade was up, so I checked mine. It wasn't up. But Geology scores were.

I got a 75. I was in denial, but I read my prof's message. He was curving the class by 1.7 percent.

I was excited, but I couldn't dwell on that for too long. Econ was tomorrow. Physics, more importantly, was Wednesday.

But first our Bible Study was going out for Pho for dinner. It was a great time to hang out and get hot soup, for it had been a great semester. The weather was getting colder too, so that warmed us up.

Exams were looming though, so afterwards I texted Brandon. Studying for Econ was for naught, we decided. The more one studies, the less one understands. He picked me up and another late night studying at the Stoop was ahead. "I got an A in Calc!" Shane said. "I need a 76 on physics, do you think I can get that?"

We studied physics until about midnight, then switched to Econ. It was snowing. 'Bout time. Brandon drove me home, and we noticed the snowplows hadn't been out yet. "The key to driving in the snow is to not freak out," he said as he drove sideways in the CTLM parking lot. "No big deal, just driving sideways." It was fun, as it was one of the first snow falls of the year and there was no one awake at that time. There rarely is at 2 a.m. Even the study room in Maple was not lit up as it was so frequently last year.

***
I walked from Marquez Hall to Brown Sunday night, the place where I spent most of my time this semester. I was just coming from studying for my geology final with classmates, but needed to go over the time scale and maybe some Econ.  I needed a 76 on Geology, and was concerned about not getting it. Alone in Brown, I wrote and rewrote the time scale in hopes of finally memorizing it. I hated studying alone. Maybe it helps focus, but certainly not motivation. I missed having people to study with every night without fail in the Maple study room. Maybe I just hate being alone.

I thought about how different this semester was. With only two more credit hours than the last, I was twice as busy, yet still managed to sleep some of the time. We had split off into majors, although not as completely as we will Spring semester. I missed old friends, had made new friends. Learned more intense stuff, lived more real life. Had kids look up to me as an old, grizzled sophomore yet couldn't get by without the wisdom of those older than me. The semester flew by quite quickly. I was surprised, no, blessed that I got through without too many battle scars.

Three down, five more to go...