Tuesday, November 1, 2011


PA is an interesting creature at the Colorado School of Mines. First and foremost, its name. We are forbidden to call it PE, because apparently everyone in the world would think us to have Petroleum Engineering class where we have to wear closed toed athletic shoes. Strange, I know. But Petroleum gets naming rights. Secondly, PA is plain amusing accounting for the fact that we're all a bunch of wimpy nerds put into a strange gym-looking room (the field house) forced to do athletic things. Funny...I don't feel exercised at all.

At the beginning of the year, we were told this was to be our fun class that will be the easiest to pass, so make friends 'cause it will be boring if you don't talk. So we made friends. And we talked before class. And our coach took forever to show up, so we waited- sometimes until 10:15. But once he got there and took roll call, we played dodgeball (sometimes after running/walking two laps). And while pretending to play dodgeball, we stood in the back talking and exercising our voices and social skills..if we have any. This is how it's been for 10 weeks, except the nice days in September that we played kickball outside.

There is a specific strategy for dodgeball, and I think Mines students have figured it out. After waking up at 9:50, get there all groggy and walk to the nearest wall. When a kid yells "3...2...1...Dodgeball!", don't run up to the line. Stay behind and stand in the back of a very large person for a shield, but not too big that you can't see what's going on. When numbers start dwindling, and it looks like you'll have to do something to avoid being the last survivor, try to catch a ball and fail. Or throw a ball so the other team catches it. Then you'll be out of the game. Sit back, relax and enjoy the show that is The Wizard (some weird kid) yelpping as he gets hit. Some kids will try to jailbreak the team while out by making a basket on the other side of the court, but that is pointless- you'll only have to go back out and play.

Oh, once in a while we hustle. Sometimes the team I'm on wins. But usually dodgeball is a very good display of poor athleticism, except for the few former baseball players who throw curveballs that go right towards your face. PA is mostly a waste of time: I get a better workout walking to and from PA than the actual class. We never do anything. Except for that one time we ran a mile, which was more like crawling for some of us who were gasping for air and holding our sore limbs. Easy A.

I'm starting to make my schedule for next semester. I think it'll be fun, with a dose of horrible red boxes from Physics on Lon-Capa. Or however you spell it. I think I'm gonna try to get PA only once a week at 8 a.m. Which might be stupid, because no one is a morning person, and we'll be playing dodgeball even more lethargically. We might even be able to play while sleep-walking.