The lack of motivation that saturated the last month of sophomore year still numbs me now. In fact, as I write this, I'm eating the cereal I never ate during the school year because I'm too lazy to make any other meal. (Well I'm always too lazy to make a meal, but I usually hide behind the excuse of being too busy). I've been putting off writing this post for days (or a month, you could say, as my last post chronicled my E-Days adventures). The crash and lethargicness of the summer has hit me after eight months of the frantic rhythm of 18 to 18.5 credit hours. Now the only reason to get off the couch is because the leather has gotten warm and sticky in the heat of May. My room is a mess, full of boxes and clothes I've brought back from Golden. I've allowed my curly hair to roam free like always (because I'm too busy to tame it doing school anyway), but my mom has noticed and insisted I attempt to do something with it on occasion, comparing my locks to that of my sister's, whose owner has time to wake up at 7AM. But for me, waking up at 7AM has always been a sin-- even for 8AM classes I've woken up at 7:40-- and any sort of effort to do anything cannot be mustered.
I'm just trying to recover from this semester while being in awe of how quickly half of my undergraduate days have flown by.
"I wanted to kill myself," Michelle said of the last day of EPICS presentations and the last day of school. I doodled the earth's magnetic field and volcanoes and tornadoes on my team evaluation sheet. I hope my professor liked it. I don't think any of us had caffeine that morning. All six classes of mine were tiring, and most of them were review sessions. I looked at the clock in Static Fields more times than Shane, passed notes to Rosie, and made faces on my fingers. "What's up with you guys today?" my advisor/professor had asked. "We have Sophomoritis," I solemnly replied, "like Senioritis, but for sophomores."
Unfortunately true, that's pretty much how the semester went. Constant business and motion capped off by more intense business struggling to get done. I had the benefit of being certain to pass all of my classes and the attitude of being perfectly content to do mediocre. This time freshman year, I was going insane trying to ace tests and get a higher grade...what happened to my motivation?
I had forgotten how to study, anyway. All semester, homework and a slight review had been sufficient to get me through the midterms (not to brag-- and I DO NOT recommend this style of "studying"). So here I was, the Thursday before finals started Saturday, staring at the list of Linear Algebra theorems in Arthur Lakes Library, and starting to silently freak out that I wasn't prepared for this. Additionally, I feared I wouldn't have time to become prepared, for I was going to go see the Iron Man III premier that night. Friday, or Dead Day, was devoted to Differential Equations, though I really didn't need to study for it.
Finals Week actually flew by pretty quickly, though sometimes it seemed to drag. 5 more days, 4, 3, 2. I had been keeping track since Shane began asking me in January. The 100-plus days had dragged by in some moments, yet flew by all together. As I took one of my finals, the heading of "MAY 5, 2013" took me by surprise for a second. The year really was flying by, and sophomore year really was almost over. It took all my strength to muster up just enough motivation to get through the final five days though. So many times I wanted to give up and go to bed.
I finally got to go to bed May 8. After nearly nine months.