I want to do well in my finals, but then I'm sick of them. I don't want to study anymore.
Then I just want to hang out with everyone before we have to leave each other.
Then I realize I can hang out with them by studying with them.
Oh well.
I don't want to pack because that means I'm leaving soon.
And I don't want to pack because I don't want to pack.
There's something I don't like about having to take a final that's 14 pages thick and pretty difficult. It's worse when you just said goodbye to the first people who left the floor- the baseball guys. 1st North Swag is coming to an end. Hail, hail, the gang's not here.
But really?! I finished that stupid test and didn't even feel like it was summer. I should feel accomplished (and will after I go to sleep before 1 am in the first time in forever), but it's bittersweet 'cause I know we'll never be freshman together again.
Stop living in the past, I guess.
***
I packed up sooner than I had thought I would. But I still had a lot of junk.
I took down my Rocktober poster again. Weird.
Maple was half-empty (or half-full) when I left. I said goodbye to the remaining people and walked out.
Probably not for the last time. But I turned in my keys and made it official that I wouldn't be living there again (as far as I can see). The days of us freshies living our lives in the dorms were certainly over.
I snapped some pix as I said goodbye to Maple Hall. It was good to me. I was happy there.
So we're driving up with our truck filled with stuff when I kinda realize it's summer. And that is a good thing. I realize I don't have homework, but I don't think it's set in yet. And in a week I'll be going crazy from lack of it. It's good to be done though. I feel accomplished, and so should you. We need to get away. We need to catch up on sleep (I'm looking at you, although I am very guilty). See and talk to 'normal' people. We can't stay freshman forever. So we rid ourselves, but it's a good riddance.
It's crazy how quickly nine months has passed yet how much has happened in that nine months. We've grown to wide-eyed freshman to somewhat-prepared-for-what's-next sophomores. That person who didn't think they were going to pass Calculus? Passed. Shy to approach anyone about anything? Outgoing. Didn't think anyone understood them? Not anymore. We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into, and through all the sweat, tears, lost sleep, energy drinks and eraser remnants yet smiles, nerdy inside jokes, green boxes, energy drinks, passed tests and late nights we've somehow found ourselves having the time of our lives.
Yeah, it was hard. If I could tell incoming freshman me how
hard it was, it might have scared me more. But of course it was doable. Just
add in a few 4am nights. And for what it's worth, it was worth all the while.
So yeah, it was a great year. But I know it doesn't stop
here. There's more things to learn. I know next year will change me more, as
these past nine months have. And I'll fight through it. With Nerf guns and 'mallows. And stuff.