Dear Older Self

Dear Older Self,

What's the future like? Did I make the right choices about the future? So how 'bout that grad school thing, huh? What about the non-school stuff? What about spending senior year well? How did that go? What should I do better? What should I do?

Did I make the bright-eyed freshman proud?

So many questions...sorry.

Best regards,

Your senior self

Dear Younger Self: Cliched Nonsense

Dear Younger Self,

So I'm going back and reading my older posts with the tag "Dear Younger Self". Two thoughts come to mind:
1. The advice I give my you, my  younger self (or rather students at certain points in college), are pretty cliched.
2. I guess I listened to myself.

The end of the year is always a time for looking back. There are Top 10 Lists of Things in 2013 everywhere. People are talking about the year that was and their resolutions and stuff. And I guess after another successful semester in the books, you're looking for more advice from me, because that's what a cliched end-of-the-year blog post holds.

I could ramble on about the follies of procrastination and how you've seemed to have figured out that you can't NOT procrastinate, that it's in your blood. I can always speak about how very quickly time seems to fly, and how you're nearing the end, so you'd better make it awesome. Or how valuable good friends are. I can give you a heads-up and say things like "can you learn to cook already?", "practice defensive eating during Field Methods", "don't give up on Dynamic Fields because you can make the greatest comeback in the history of ever or something". I could tell my sophomore self that "it gets better; Junior year won't kill you." I could blather about the lessons outside the classroom: about wise time investment, overcoming over-analyzation and over-reaction, learning to have fun by yourself, and letting go of the past (wow, the cliches are killing me).

I could ramble. Because the cliches would all be true, interestingly enough.

But you gotta figure it out without my cliched advice and live it on your own. And maybe, just maybe, after five action-packed semesters, you have figured it out. But most likely there are some curveballs headed your way (gotta throw in a baseball cliche). Still, I hope that Future Self will be writing about the good times that Spring 2014 and Field Session held. Or the crazy things that happened the summer between Junior and Senior Year and the first semester of Senior Year.

So yeah. [Insert cliche phrase that expresses an attitude that one holds when about to embark on a new year and adventures and the such like, that when the phrase is uttered it sends a chill of fear into the heart of the bad guys. Play heroic and inspiring music. Fade out.]

It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard... is what makes it great. ~ A League of Their Own

P.S. For real though, it doesn't get easier. As far as material goes, it gets more impossible. Yet more doable.

Dear Younger Self: What Really Matters

Dear Younger Self,

It was dead week, and Brandon and I were in the library after a long year. “I’ve got acne, weight loss, sleep deprivation..., all symptoms of stress,” Brandon said.

“Yeah,” I replied, “I’ve got the same, except weight gain, and I heard those were symptoms of depression.”

“Probably both.” We were only slightly joking.

Sophomore year was hard. You might have expected that since you knew at least Fall semester held 18 credit hours.

It was more than the academics, though. I was hung over from what I thought would be the best year of my college days, and spent the first part of sophomore year reminiscing about the epicness of freshman year and moaning how it would never be the same again. Living with 7 girls in a house was a culture shock, and I quickly grew tired of sharing a room. As unappetizing as the cafeteria was, living on frozen dinners and the occasional macaroni and cheese was worse. Spending time with friends had to be scheduled, as they quickly grew busy too. I had involved myself in way too many stuff, as meetings filled every hour in the day not occupied by class. I frequently stayed up past 3AM, as there was physically no time to get all my homework done (which I started neglecting). And at the end of the day, I was incredibly lonely.

At the end of the year, all my motivation was gone as I wrote here. I desperately needed school to end. Grades didn't matter.

I tried to salvage the last few weeks for making memories in what I thought was an empty year of torture. But the whole year really wasn't that empty. I’ll remember doing Linear Algebra at Starbucks with Ethan and then meeting people at Woody’s for College Night, late nights at The Stoop doing homework due the next day, the road trip to Urbana conference, playing peanuts with my housemates and Marie getting super into it, Lon-Capa aliases, the snowy spring break trip, epic shenanigans, and green boxes. And the such like.

I came back from school and cleaned off my shelves, throwing away old binders from high school and shoving my trophies on one shelf. As much as I threw away, much of stuff remained, and they seemed so useless there, unable to be thrown away, defeating their purpose if I put them in a box. When you’re in high school, or even younger, every accomplishment or activity seems like a stepping stone to college, the ultimate step. The geography bee gives out scholarships. Various activities can be put on scholarship and college applications. My high school letter and its pins are so I would get into a good school. And grades mattered a lot to me.

Dusty on the shelf, they all seemed so useless. They only mattered to get me here.

Now that I was here, I realized what really matters. It’s not grades. It’s not the number of people you can meet. It’s not how much money you can make writing, editing, or selling tickets. It’s not even getting a job or into grad school at the end of it all. What really matters are those moments you’ll remember, those people you’ll remember, and the positive impact your short, God-given time here can have.

So, incoming sophomore, remember as you embark on another year that it’s those moments that will make the torture worth it. And they’re also the reason you came to be here. 

Dear Younger Self: Things to Know Before Freshman Year

Why hello there, freshman me (and new freshman eavesdropping). You have just completed the M-Climb and Orientation blather, but school starts and stuff gets real. Get ready to lose your time, sleep, mental health, hygiene, and anything "normal" about you (except normal forces! Gotta love those). Below is a non-exhaustive list of things that would be pretty nifty to know going in, although some will have to be learned the hard way. Some things are things that just work for me, some things are past advice given by older students, some things are facts of life at Mines. It's gonna be difficult, but it's gonna be a blast!!

***
Getting ahead isn't the most important thing anymore.

People who think they know it all will try to tell you stuff. Wise people will try to give you great advice.You have to figure out who's full of good advice and who's just full of it.

Don't get behind. It takes one week to go to living homework assignment to assignment. And it's impossible to get ahead once you're behind, so take each semester and stay on top of it.

Choose Geophysics as a major because it's awesome and you are awesome, not because you don't want to take Chem II. Although that tidbit certainly makes it more attractive...

Have a test routine. Maybe you don't take tests well, or maybe there's one subject with an exam coming up that will make you shake. But find out ways to focus and relax. My routine is: study until two hours before the exam, pray for focus and help, maybe play the piano, eat a good meal, maybe listen to my iPod as I'm walking to the room, chew gum throughout the exam, and switch pencils if I'm on a problem.

Don't wait 'til midnight to start homework or studying. Just please, don't.

Wearing a suit to Career Day as a freshman = winning. They'll probably think you're a junior or grad student.

It's okay to cry. Just pull yourself together and focus on what you have to do next.

You're gonna hate EPICS as a class; you'll think it's stupid and useless. Hope to get a good team- although many people will complain about their teammates after they reviewed them and before the final report is due.

You'll probably either hate Chemistry or Physics. Or both.

Attitude is everything. If you think a class sucks, it will. If you think writing papers is dumb, your grades will reflect it. And if you keep muttering that you hate physics to your studio partners...you're gonna have a bad time.

Units! Remember to put them. Small things like these add up on exams.

Try everything, meet everyone, do everything, get involved, and put yourself out there first semester! This will be the perfect time to have fun and make friends before you can buckle down with harder classes second semester.

If you're on the 14 meals a week plan, you should take your books to breakfast, eat, study for a few hours, then eat lunch. Two-for-one meal swipes!

There are good and bad things about being on a small campus. Mostly good. But try to remember people's names who apparently know you. And try to be reasonable when something is suddenly changed, and don't do or say anything impulsive because you think it isn't fair, because it is a small campus.

Living in the dorms is awesome. Take advantage of the opportunity this year and become friends with a bunch of different people.

The food's okay. But after a few months (weeks?) you'll find that "stale" is an anagram for "Slate", which also will count for their music playlist.

It's impossible to watch an action movie without it being dissected from now on. Embrace it, or never watch movies with engineering students.

Don't be afraid to change, but remember who you are.

Don't go to EPICS on Fridays. Well, most Fridays.

If you bring a stapler to class the day the worksheet's due, everyone will love you.

There is no such thing as an easy A here.  If you want a grade, you'll have to do the work for it- and more. And you might not end up with the grade you want even if you work hard.

Work hard, have fun, relax.

Swag.

Dear Younger Self: a message to incoming freshman me

Dear Younger Self,

You don't want to admit it, but you're scared.

For weeks relatives have asked you the question, and you've just shrugged it off. But deep down inside you know it's true. You are scared. Scared of grades and of failing. Scared you won't end up with a good roommate. Scared you won't make friends, or you'll end up with the wrong crowd. You're going to college now...no, even more: you're going to Mines. The thought is even overwhelming. You wonder if you made the right choice.

You'll move in, and have a blast. Your roommate will be the awesomest roommate to ever walk to earth, even if you don't know that yet. The first week, though filled with fun activities, will be a little awkward. You'll meet some people that you'll never hang out with, and you'll meet some people that will become some of your closest friends. You just never know, and the ways you meet them will be all different- from Playfair doing what it was designed to do, to sitting down randomly with someone at Slate, to coming across an amazing group of people offering you ice cream, to meeting kids in class by getting lost after Calc or having the exact class schedule, to getting to know people on your floor more closely from shopping sprees and Tebowing sessions.

You'll go to class. You'll like all of them...at first. Then you'll fall asleep during Calc, which is a bad idea, and in Earth, which is not such a bad idea. You'll get a D in Calc and a high B in Earth for your first tests. Oh and a B in Chem. The thing about Chem is Chem lab. You'll become lab partners with another Geophysics major. And in theory, that is a bad idea. But whatever. It'll be fun. But I suggest getting an extra-long lighter.

You'll be carefree for the first month, but all of a sudden more tests will start coming up. And a lot of homework. And it will build up. And make you crazy. Maybe if you weren't so involved...On your freshman resume, you will have included in your activities:

• Society of Women Engineers 
• Society of Student Geophysicists
• Society of  Hispanic Professional Engineers
• The Oredigger
• InterVarsity Christian Fellowship

And IV will take up most of your time. But you'll love it.
Oh yeah, and you'll work 10 hours a week for Athletics, which doesn't fit well with your schedule and the concept of studying, but oh well. You need the money.

You're used to being stressed out by now. Or at least always having something due, somewhere to go. And getting sometimes 5 hours, mostly 7, when you're lucky 8 hours of sleep each night. You'll need a vacation. And you'll go to IV's Fall Conference, and it will be awesome. You'll become even closer to some friends and make new ones...one that will study with you for Calc and then Chem.

Again, when it comes to outlets, InterVarsity will still be the group you're most involved with, the one where you know the most people. They'll actually move you in Orientation Weekend. And then there will be Large Group, Bible Study, Friday Movie Night at the Sparkly Man Cave, and study sessions in DiggerDen. And other cool stuff like Amazing Race. And mad craziness of each awesome person. As for The Oredigger, you'll write an article that will be due the same day as the first Calc test. Of course, you won't write it until that Thursday. And that is a bad idea. After that you'll write a couple other articles, but due to your insane schedule and inability to attend the meetings, along with pure being busy and sheer boredom of the rag that is this grammatically incorrect newspaper- you'll not be too involved the rest of the semester. As for SWE, SHPE, and SSG- there is good food, but SHPE and SSG coincide. SSG has less members, thus more food. Yay.

After a while, you'll realize that the other kids are not just jealous of you living in Maple Hall. You'll realize you hang out with only 40% of the floor, and 90% of the time you'll hang out with 10% of the floor. And most of those times will be bothering the kid across the hall because he has a futon or doing homework with the baseball players or going shopping with the girls- stuff that your RA doesn't plan. But it's okay. You guys don't do much, and there was this one floor meeting where a couple people you had never seen before emerged and everyone was like "whoa",  but the half of you guys that do know each other will be pretty cool. And you wouldn't trade them for a floor full of others.

You'll love Golden, more than you could have initially imagined. It's so pretty in the autumn. And yeah, it's close to home. But when it snows, it's magical. The campus is so still...until you get thrown into the snow. And it's so close to ice cream and stuff. And even with an ankle that's not 100% after injuring it in Humans Vs. Zombies, it'll take you 8 minutes to scamper from one end of campus to the other, assuming you start from Maple and run downhill from there. It's a great place to live, and you'll love it.

Duncan's voice will bore you. Haji's socks will repulse you. Berlin's...everything will annoy you. But it's okay, you have your friends. They'll hear you out. And complain with you. And make fun of the socks and be those distracted "kids who sit in the back" with you. But still do homework with you. Some friends will stay up with you. Have long conversations or walk you through your lab at night into early morning with you. You'll even have those long conversations that occur when you and your roommate thought you both should be in bed. You'll have bad weeks, and they'll understand. You'll go through bad tests, and some will even be sitting in the same room. The stress will come, and you'll know where to find them (most of them are probably studying). And whenever you have "free time" they'll be there to have fun with you and do crazy things with you.

The last two weeks will be crazy. But you'll live, after all you have junkfood on your side. (Ha, and your face breaks out. Ha ha.) The night before finals the internet will provide a horrible distraction that will take your focus away from Chem and Earth. So if you ever get mad, for future reference: stay off Facebook. Actually, if you want to get anything done productively and not have to stay up til 4 a.m. because you're distracted, delete it. Or show some self-control. But whatever, there's always some distraction, something to do. And during weeks like this, yeah you'll be stressed out, but you'll make it. Seriously- stop crying about SolidWorks and go study it. Sheesh.

Finals will come. And it'll all be a learning experience: some days you win, some days you lose. Some days it snows. And Duncan gets trapped in his house and has to postpone Exam 1, so you get more time to cram. Some days you guess wrong. Which is unfortunate that you had to guess so wrong on Exam 3. But somedays you'll guess right and know it and exhale (Chem), and some days you'll thank God for partial credit (Math). It'll all turn out.

So don't worry, younger self. After finals you'll be mentally stable, with a boatload of memories from just one semester, many friends you made them with, and the assurance that you made the right choice and belong here. You'll go home relax for four weeks. Okay never mind, you'll have an emotional breakdown the night before final grades are posted. But it'll be okay, you have your friends again. And your mom makes ribs and macaroni and cheese. Then you'll rest for a few weeks.

And one week in, you're already gonna miss it.